In Alcoholics Anonymous, relapse within the first year can be as went to a month-long rehab, and then a Sober Living house for six months. “I made tons of money, had a good-looking girlfriend—the house, the car, parties. If you move forward with the relationship, be aware of a few unique aspects of dating someone in recovery. For instance, depending on the recovering addict's. The National Institute on Drug Abuse lists four stages of rehab: treatment initiation For most people, recovery from substance abuse is a lengthy process in of client motivation to abstain to about three months into recovery.
Dating 4 months recovering alcoholic relapse - Is it a Slip or Relapse
This is considered a slip. On the other hand, if you then go get a candy bar at the gas station, buy a tub of ice cream at your next shopping trip, and you completely give up your diet, then that is relapse.
Clearly a slip can easily turn into relapse, but it does not guarantee it. What are the circumstances someone might slip when it comes to drugs or alcohol? Unknowingly consuming drugs or alcohol is one scenario.
For example, you are served a vodka tonic when you simply ordered tonic water with lime or ate a pot brownie thinking it was just a brownie. Those are clear accidents. In some circumstances, temptation might be too hard to resists. But if a slip does occur, it is important you return to your recovery plan immediately. What do I do if have slipped in my addiction recovery? Reflect on why it happened. Make the decision to remain in recovery.
Put in genuine effort to not let it happen again. Talking to your recovery coach, sponsor, therapist, loved ones, or anyone else in your support system will help you move past the slip. This may be hard, especially if you have feelings of remorse and guilt. However, these people want you to succeed, and they will help you avoid slips in the future.
Express your feelings and find the resolve to return to sobriety. The danger of a slip, after all, is that it easily can snowball into relapse. A relapse means you have made a conscious decision to abandon your recovery plan and return to your pre-treatment ways. It is not an isolated incident. You actually obtain and consume alcohol or drugs. You know the consequences- you have been in recovery. For whatever reasons, you have returned to feeding your addiction.
Sometimes when people relapse, they use slips as an excuse. For example, an alcoholic who drank every day might redefine his addiction if he begins to only drink on weekends. This costs Steve several thousand dollars. Following this nightmare, Steve decides to call the relationship quits.
The above is a nightmare scenario anyone in recovery will wish to avoid. If Shelley had followed the advice below, surely Steve would have avoided this harsh relapse and their relationship could have blossomed.
Without further ado, I offer up these seven tips for dating somebody in recovery and avoiding this cruel situation now faced by Shelley and Steve.
Get over the shock that your date is living in recovery. Unfortunately, society often judges recovered addicts harshly. But why is this so?
Well, the answer is simple: Society tells us that addiction is bad. And unfortunately, people often equate recovery with addiction, even though the two are polar opposites! However, if your new date reveals he or she is a former addict, then it's important you don't make too much of an issue out of that fact.
And it's essential that you do not dismiss their prior addiction as some kind of character flaw. Simply put, being a past addict should not equal doom for future relationships. It's likely he or she used to live a very different lifestyle to his or her current one. In fact, we recommend you positively embrace your date's recovery. And let's not forget that recovered addicts are often extremely healthy individuals.
Many recovered addicts have spent countless hours educating themselves about nutrition, healthy eating, relationships, self-awareness and exercise. And this usually translates into a healthy and more active lifestyle the rest of us could only dream about! Determine how long your new date has been in recovery. As a general rule, the longer your date has been in recovery the better. If your date has been in recovery for less than 12 months, know there is a greater risk of his or her relapse.
Relapse is when a recovered addict returns to old addictive ways. And it really does go without saying that a relapse could result in an early termination of your hard-earned relationship.
In fact, some experts even advise that you should not start a relationship with somebody who has been in recovery for less than 12 months.
Although I would not go this far, I would urge you to at least be aware that being in recovery for less than a year carries a substantially higher risk of relapse when compared to dating somebody with more than a year's worth of recovery experience. Determine how active your date is at maintaining his or her recovery. Recovered addicts are encouraged to actively work on their recovery. For this reason, there are many support groups located in most towns and cities catering for this need. Being in recovery is more of a verb than a noun.
This means the recovered addict should engage in an active program of recovery. This typically involves attending support groups, partaking in hobbies that keep them occupied, volunteering and practicing self-help.
Living in recovery definitely should not be about reluctantly avoiding alcohol and drugs. I thus advise you to subtly learn what steps your date is doing to stay in recovery. Attend group meetings with your new date. It is unlikely your new date will reveal his or her continued attendance to you, so go ahead and ask your date whether he or she still attends these support groups. This shows you are open-minded and willing to learn about what life is like in recovery.
If your date confirms he or she does attend a support group, offer your support by offering to attend, too. If your date is an ex-alcoholic, then it goes without saying that you should really consider avoiding alcohol when out on a date.
To do otherwise would be extremely insensitive to your date's position regarding alcohol. If you wish to develop a more serious relationship with your date, then we would recommend you consider giving up alcohol yourself.
Some people think they have to start counting the days and months of sobriety all over if they relapse or have a slip. Many people in recovery hear the terms slip and relapse, and wonder if they are the same thing. And it's essential that you do not dismiss their prior addiction as some kind of character flaw. Without further ado, I offer up these seven tips for dating somebody in recovery and avoiding this cruel situation now faced by Shelley and Steve.