Join Ariel and Shya on this refreshing episode of Being Here and reignite the the dating stage," but dating itself is a key building block for any relationship or. How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating, and Marriage [Ariel and Shya Kane] on bizdocki.info *FREE* shipping . Home > Dating > Magical Relationships are Possible So I'd like to thank the Kanes and all the community for BEING HERE!! Now I'd like to.
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She was habitually driving forward for some desired result that was supposed to make her happy or fulfilled or better — in the future.
It became apparent even in how she approached the conversation. For Susan it was a challenge simply to walk with us. She was so accomplished at thinking and strategizing that she kept losing sight of where she was. She missed the lovely shells, the sea foam and the way her muscles moved as she walked. She either charged ahead or got lost in thought and barely moved at all. We asked her if she had ever dated more than one person at a time.
Instead, she automatically married: We encouraged her to keep relaxing into herself and into her body for the next few days and forget about getting ahead. Let go of her plans to date or to not. Just be there and have fun. Two days later during the course, Susan piped up with excitement about her first boogie boarding experience.
As she spoke, we looked around and Ralf was beaming. Ralf is an actor who is gay and married. Due to their work schedules, he and his spouse had to come to separate courses, so he was there by himself. He is accomplished at riding waves and Susan had asked him to teach her. Here is what she said: At lunch we went to the beach and waded out into the water. Although I was nervous, he made it OK. I hugged the board and the next thing I knew, the wave was coming. As I stood there, I realized that this was the one — the one where I could finally learn to boogie board.
I made it all the way into shore! She timed it perfectly and caught the wave. That means you have to do something with it and it is definitely a psychological approach that most people have.
And not trying to get away from something, because anything you are trying to get away from, you get stuck to. What you resist persists. When you get into the current moment of your life, the past loses power over you and anything you have been resisting falls away. Our culture is so forward thinking, trying to get somewhere. Progress is our most important product. Maybe getting here would be our most important product so we can experience our lives moment to moment, rather than trying to get to what we think will be better than what we have in the current moment.
Is it about being present in the here and now, knowing that the future is going to unfold? Exactly, Unfolding is a moment of NOW, so your future never gets here.
How can we encourage deeper intimacy in our relationships? Does it begin with intimacy with ourselves? We have that whole section in the beginning of the book about how kindness begins with you and intimacy begins with you. Shya and I were taking a walk the other day on one of our dates and we were standing on a bridge looking over to see if we could see fish. We realized the concept of how important it is to be kind to yourself, is really a radical idea. People are generally looking to fix and change.
If people see themselves have a negative thought, they try to make it positive. It puts such a stress. If you could just see how you are and have a sense of humor about it … Shya: One of the first videos in the book is with Stephanie where she said to Shya "Oh you tripped. Stephanie is a lovely, lovely lady and after that conversation, she found a man; her boyfriend is just the sweetest man and they have a great relationship. This being kind to herself set the stage for her to find a person whom she was really compatible with.
When did you start writing the book? I think we started writing it in earnest about a year ago. A lot has transpired in their lives in that time.
There was a chapter about a young Indian woman who was angry with her partner for not doing the dishes and no matter what you said, in her mind, he was wrong. We realized the concept of how important it is to be kind to yourself, is really a radical idea.